nosdrinker:

everyone who likes coconut water is lying

you my friend have never drunken fresh coconut water

verbosetherapy:

I think you can tell a lot about a person by which death in Harry Potter hurt them the most.

ohgally:

wickedisgood:

gladers are friends not food

said newt at some point probably

He’s not the same, and since Simmons left, he’s only getting worse. Simmons said she thought he’d be better without her here, but her leaving just broke him.

oh my goD

wolverxne:

Photographer  Jerry Hull captured these adorable images of this female Red Fox known as “Chloe” playing, stretching and sleeping in the snow. 

To believe in a universe as young as six or seven thousand years old is to extinguish the light from most of the galaxy. Not to mention, the light from all the hundred billion other galaxies in the observable universe.

iphone user: *minding his own business*
android user: AHH look what we got here, another Apple Fanboy!
iphone user: im not really a fanboy
android user: let me guess, you just came back from snapchatting steve jobs's grave
iphone user: hey man thats in poor taste
android user: good luck getting your $300 jizz box to do what my Samsung G4TMX can *pulls out very large phone*
iphone user: it's quite large
Android user: you should see the stylus. it's a legit pencil! *tries to grab stylus, drops massive phone, it falls and lands on a chipmunk, breaking its neck*
iphone user: oh my god!
android user: oh my god is right! *picks up samsung* not a scratch on it. now thats some good engineering

nerdofchaos:

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

see you all in hell

theghostoflove
CREDIT